Monday, July 25, 2011

initial response to seeing no self

this is what i wrote to several people, upon the initial seeing of no separate self.

there was no 'me' who made the body form in the mother's womb.
there is no 'me' who beats the heart, inhales and exhales the air, or holds this body down to the floor.
there is no 'me' who chooses when to fall asleep or wake up.
there is no 'me' who chose when to learn to talk or walk.
there is no 'me' who chose to prefer sex with women over men.
there is no 'me' who was given a talent to draw.
there is no 'me' who can be blamed for the eventual breakdown of the physical health that will lead to body death.
there is no 'me' who feared this physical death.
there is no 'me' who will break down the components of the body into the earth.
there is no 'me' who will escape the body and fly off to exist in heaven or hell.
there is no 'me' who moves the attention from thing to thing, thought to thought, experience to experience.
there is no 'me' who felt a pull toward finding 'me'.

nothing can be found that lasts in the experience of being and there is no 'me' that lasts outside the experience of being.
there is no 'me' to shift from personal identification with experiences to identification with universal life.
there is only life, sometimes imagining itself to be 'me'.

identification still happens in the experiencing, but there is nothing real being referred to when that happens. there is only the pattern of identification - a thought pattern. there is no separate self.


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Pat Bralley said...

And was anything found to be real?
I'm guessing you'll say Life is all there is. (But, I am usually wrong when I guess.)
Doesn't identification by definition require a me/ego. Perhaps I should ask for a definition of identification.
Better yet, perhaps I should just stop. :) Thinking, yah, yah.

Fierce Freedom said...

THIS is real. this is always real. this is all the reality there is. this breath. this blink of the eye. this beginning and ending, moment after moment. this is the emptiness. it is empty of self, and completely full of unending, impersonal movement.. change.. evolution.. unfolding..

identification is a thought pattern. thought is alive. it is taught and learned, without a teacher or a student. it consists of a me idea and an other idea. thought is alive and is as much THIS as sensation is THIS.

what is NOT ever findable, sense-able, see-able, taste-able or hear-able, is a me.

this experience, right now, is happening without a real separate you or me, and this has always been the case.

if one looks at their direct experience of being alive right now, this absence of self can be perceived clearly. don't bother thinking about it. just look.

Pat Bralley said...

What looks?
Can an "illusory me" look?
Can a "no-me" look?
Only awareness looks.
And awareness is just the word we put on That which no word can do justice.

That's what seen (when I look).
It makes me laugh inside. It's so silly. And also strangely nauseating. Time to be quiet now. :)

Fierce Freedom said...

Yes, Pat. Yes.

I'd just add that 'awareness' is no more important as a word than any other word.

No words can ever come close to fully describing this, because words are a fleeting part of this, and nothing more.

That's why the looking or sensing or feeling or whatever we call it, is the key, so to speak. There is a possible action of perceiving the absence of self.

THIS IS, but no me is found.

And yes, it's silly. But it's fun to play with. And it seems no less meaningful than any other action to try to help point other seekers toward seeing it.

What else is there to do?

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Fierce Freedom

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